


Riverdale Meets Social Media

by ailaikclarke



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Cheryl and Kevin friendship, F/F, F/M, M/M, Riverdale group chat, bughead - Freeform, choni, varchie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-25
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-13 16:51:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 9,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14752646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ailaikclarke/pseuds/ailaikclarke
Summary: Group chats, tweets and instagram posts from our favourite people in Riverdale.ORSometimes there's no drama in Riverdale.





	1. Whatever

**Author's Note:**

> I update daily.  
> If you ever want to follow ME on social media I'm @ailaikannu both on Instagram and Twitter

**BettyDrew created WHATEVER**

**BettyDrew** : Y’all are going to love me for this

 **RonnieUpAbove** : I don’t think so, B

 **SerpentKing** : Betty.

 **BettyDrew** : I wanted my friends to be in one place

 **SerpentKing** : Good thing I’m not your friend, byyyeee ;)

**SerpentKing left the chat**

**CherylBombshell** : What am I doing here, sweet cousin?

 **BettyDrew** : I said I wanted my friends in one place

 **CherylBombshell:** Then I guess I can leave too. Au revoir!

**CherylBombshell left the chat**

**BettyDrew:** Wow. Thanks. At least you’re here, Veronica

 **BettyDrew** : Veronica? And, wait… Archie?

 **Archiekins:** What? Where am I?

 **BettyDrew** : Where did Veronica go? DID SHE BLOCK ME

 **Archiekins** : I’ll have to ask her

 **Archiekins** : Yes, she did.

 **BettyDrew** : Goddamit.

**BettyDrew added SerpentKing, CherylBombshell and ChaCha to the group chat.**

**BettyDrew** : ATTENTION. Before any of you leave again (I’m looking at ya, Jones), this group chat is for my birthday party.

 **ChaCha** : I know you forgot about me in the first group chat. Cheryl told me.

 **BettyDrew** : I DIDN’T FORGET

 **CherylBombshell** : She forgot about you, darling. I am so sorry. She used to be so sweet.

 **BettyDrew** : Cheryl!

 **Archiekins** : Should I tell Veronica to unblock you?

 **BettyDrew** : Yes, please, you do that

 **SerpentKing** : I’m here again, why

 **RonnieUpAbove** : I am literally sitting in front of you

 **BettyDrew** : Well, Cheryl, Jughead, Kevin and Toni aren’t here. WHY IS KEVIN IGNORING ME

 **BetterKeller** : Not ignoring you.

 **CherylBombshell** : Better Keller?

 **BettyDrew** : Just STOP AND LISTEN TO ME.

 **RonnieUpAbove** : Sure, go ahead

 **BettyDrew** : It’s my birthday next week

 **CherylBombshell** : How old are you again? Four?

 **BettyDrew** : I AM having a party at my house since my mother’s gone and you’re all invited

 **Archiekins** : Did we really need a group chat for this? Couldn’t u like tell us

 **CherylBombshell** : I’m with Andrews on this one.

 **ChaCha** : UUUH blondie, that’s bad u know u fucked up when Archie and Cheryl agree

 **RonnieUpAbove** : I agree with Toni AND Charchie

 **CherylBombshell** : I do not know how I feel about Charchie. It’s hideous.

 **RonnieUpAbove** : The ship name or the thought of being with archie

 **ChaCha** : BOTH

 **CherylBombshell** : Yes, both. And I can’t believe you chose Charchie when Archeryl was there.

 **RonnieUpAbove** : Honestly? I thought you’d want your name to be the first one

 **CherylBombshell** : Smart.

 **Archiekins** : I HATE YOU ALL.

 **CherylBombshell** : Oh, come on, you’d be lucky to be with me. I, on the other hand, wouldn’t.

 **Archiekins** : Yeah, let’s stick to Choni and Varchie.

 **CherylBombshell** : WHAT THE HELL IS A CHONI

 **ChaCha** : BABE that’s our ship name

 **CherylBombshell** : Nobody told me we had a ship name.

 **BettyDrew** : GUYS MY BIRTHDAY

 **BettyDrews** : Can you at least tell me who’s coming?

 **SerpentKing** : I am

**SerpentKing left the chat**

**RonnieUpAbove** : Same

**RonnieUpAbove left the chat**

**Archiekins** : Yeah, I’ll come

**Archiekins left the chat**

**BetterKeller** : Sure, I’ll help

**BetterKeller left the chat**

**ChaCha** : Yep

**ChaCha left the chat**

**CherylBombshell** : I’ll be there.

**CheryBombshell left the chat**

**BettyDrew** : LITTERALLY WHAT THE FUCK


	2. Fck fck fck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome aboard the I'M TOO DRUNK TO TEXT train.

**RonnieUpAbove created the chat FUCK FUCK FUCK**

**RonnieUpAbove** : GUYS I CNT FIND KEVIN

 **SerpentKing** : I’m with betty and he’s not with us

 **RonnieUpAbove** : Archie lsot his phone anyone got it?

 **ChaCha** : cheryl’s vomiting

 **SerpentKing** : Still? fuck

 **RonnieUpAbove** : guys kevin disappeared

 **RonnieUpAbove** : who cares about archie’d phone when kevin disappeared

 **BettyDrew** : you wrote about archies’ phone

 **RonnieUpAbove** : i dint’

 **RonnieUpAbove** : ah i did whoops

 **ChaCha** : u ok lodge?

 **RonnieUpAbove** : i’m drunk where r u anyways

 **ChaCha** : i told you cheryl’s vomiting still

 **RonnieUpAbove** : ya, where tho

 **ChaCha** : in the fucking bathroom, where else should we be

 **RonnieUpAbove** : i dunno, maybe in the garden

 **ChaCha** : cheryl’s a blossom even when she’s puking her guts out

 **RonnieUpAbove** : GUYS WHO CARES KEVIN DIASPPEARDE

 **BettyDrew** : Again, you were the one talking with Toni

 **RonnieUpAbove** : i’ll stop texting now, goodbye

 **BettyDrew** : Guys, Moose just called me to tell me that Kevin’s phone died, but he’s fine.

 **RonnieUpAbove** : GUYS KEVIN DISAPPEARED

 **BettyDrew** : VERONICA!

 **RonnieUpAbove** : what

 **RonnieUpAbove** : ah right yes i’m off to bed goodnight

 **ChaCha** : WHAT IS KEVIN DOING WITH MOOSE

 **SerpentKing** : I told you they were a thing

 **ChaCha** : I can’t

 **CherylBombshell** : I rose from my ashes, like a beautiful phoenix.

 **ChaCha** : you died

 **CherylBombshell** : I did not die.

 **RonnieUpAbove** : u died bitch

 **CherylBombshell** : Did you just call me a bitch?

 **BettyDrew** : Can someone please take away Veronica’s phone?

 **ChaCha** : it’s alright, Betty she’s not getting up any time soon

 **ChaCha** : k I was wrong, she’s walking downstairs

 **ChaCha** : I hear screaming

 **ChaCha** : well veronica’s on the floor

 **BettyDrew** : Cheryl! Did you push her?

 **CherylBombshell** : What? No, I didn’t!

 **RonnieUpAbove** : she walked downstairs and yelled at me and i am still so drunki got scared and fell on my face

 **BettyDrew** : You guys are weird

 **RonnieUpAbove** : she’s scary alright nd shes paler thatn usual so fuck that

 **RonniUpAbove** : shes’ a vampire

 **CherylBombshell** : I am not a vampire.

 **RonnieUpAbove** : I’ve nevre seen u sleep

 **CherylBombshell** : You have, slumber party at my house when my hideous mother still lived there?

 **RonnieUpAbove** : never cme to ur house

 **CherylBombshell** : You are way too drunk to remember.

 **RonnieUpAbove** : not drunk, nayone?

 **BettyDrew** : You’re drunk

 **Archiekins** : Yep, definitely drunk

 **SerpentKing** : you’re texting Cheryl and she’s standing in front of you

 **ChaCha** : and u cant even write properly

 **RonnieUpAbove** : im drunk help

 **RonnieUpAbove** : i wont be drunk tomorrow but cheryl’s still going to be a vampire


	3. The Gays

**BettyDrew created THE GAYS**

**CherylBombshell** : WHY IS THIS CHAT CALLED THE GAYS, I WILL SET A BITCH ON FIRE.

 **BettyDrew** : Okay, calm down.

**BettyDrew changed the name of the chat to THE HOMOSEXUALS**

**CherylBombshell** : I WILL set a bitch on fire.

**BettyDrew changed the name of the chat to FUCK BETTY**

**CherylBombshell** : That works. What do you want this time?

 **BettyDrew** : So… Don’t get mad…. There were some complaints from parents who think that it’s not okay for same sex couples to go to prom

 **CherylBombshell** : I WILL SET A LOT OF BITCHES ON FIRE.

 **RonnieUpAbove** : What the actual fuck

 **ChaCha** : are u kidding me?

 **CherylBombshell** : Who are they? Do I know them? Do they know _me_?

 **SerpentKing** : are the parents aware of that meaning going against Cheryl Blossom?

 **BettterKeller** : okay, this sucks

 **BetterKeller** : I thought our school was accepting

 **BettyDrew** : The school is, the parents are assholes

 **BetterKeller** : Well, but who cares

 **ChaCha** : who the fuck cares about parents anyways

 **CherylBombshell** : I’ll set the school on fire, problem solved.

 **BettyDrew** : You will not set the school on fire

 **RonnieUpAbove** : u should tho

 **Archkins** : she’s right, u should

 **CherylBombshell** : I will.

 **ChaCha** : calm down, baby. We’ll fix this and fire will not be involved

 **CherylBombshell** : Why though, why? What have we done to be told that it’s not okay for us to go to prom? I am fuming.

 **BetterKeller** : Meet me at Pop’s in ten minutes Blossom, we have work to do

 **CherylBombshell** : I’ll be there in five.

 **ChaCha** : Yo! Am I suddenly invisible?

 **BetterKeller** : We’ll fix this.

 **Archiekins** : I feel weirdly scared and I believe I won’t be going to Pop’s for the next three hours

 **RonnieUpAbove** : I kind of want to see them fuming together

 **SerpentKing** : YA ME TOO

 **RonnieUpAbove** : Guys this is extremely scary

 **RonnieUpAbove** : Cheryl and Kevin have been talking NON-STOP for like an hour

 **RonnieUpAbove** : Well, they do stop. Kevin to sigh, Cheryl to grit her teeth

 **RonnieUpAbove** : It literally looks like there’s smoke coming from her head and her eyes, guys

 **RonnieUpAbove** : HER EYES

 **RonnieUpAbove** : I don’t know if there’s more anger in them or more pain

 **ChaCha** : r u stalking my girlfriend?

 **SerpentKing** : That’s fire, her eyes are full of fire

 **SerpentKing** : as in anger, not actual fire

 **SerpentKing** : aaaand here it is

 **RonnieUpAbove** : She smiled guys, you know what smile I’m talking about

 **RonnieUpAbove** : May God have mercy on those parents, because she won’t


	4. Sssserpents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's here!   
> Sweeeeeeat Pea&Faaaaaaaaangs!

**ChaCha created SSSSERPENTS**

**ChaCha** : hello fellow serpents

 **Fangs** : what is this

 **Sweets** : what r u doing tiny toni

 **ChaCha** : k, we talked about that nickname

 **CherylBombshell** : Another group chat? Darling, please. You know I’m already quite busy with the whole prom ordeal.

 **SerpentKing** : and I thought Betty was bad

 **Sweets** : what is this about tiny toni

 **ChaCha** : I’ll tell you if you stop calling me that

 **Sweets** : alright

 **Sweets** : tiny toni

 **ChaCha** : I know u r tall, but why isn’t cheryl tiny cheryl?

 **Sweets** : well, mainly because tiny toni is perfect, but also because she’s taller than you

 **ChaCha** : she’s like two inches taller than me

 **SerpentKing** : and she scares him

 **Sweets** : she doesnt

 **Sweets** : I call her Red and that’s it

 **Sweets** : do u really think TINY TONI and TINY CHERYL have the same appeal as names

 **Fangs** : she scares him we all know she does

 **CherylBombshell** : I tend to scare everyone. It’s my gift. No need to be ashamed.

 **ChaCha** : alright, before they hit each other

 **ChaCha** : this is about FP’s birthday

 **ChaCha** : I was thinking we could like have a dinner party or something

 **SerpentKing** : a dinner party

 **Fangs** : I don’t think I’ve ever been to a dinner party before

 **Fangs** : plus aren’t u supposed to be getting ready fro prom

 **Sweets** : fangs they dont want the gays at prom she already told us that

 **ChaCha** : cheryl is fixing it don’t worry

 **CherylBombshell** : You barbaric, primitive, buffoons. I’m calling for help.

**CherylBombshell changed the name of the chat to FP**

**CherylBombshell added BettyDrew and RonnieUpAbove to the group chat**

**CherylBombshell** : I am calling Elizabeth Cooper and Veronica Cecilia Lodge to help me with these human pieces of trash who’ve never been to a dinner party.

 **RonnieUpAbove** : THEY WHAT

 **RonnieUpAbove** : I can’t believe it

 **RonnieUpAbove** : I won’t believe it

 **RonnieUpAbove** : where are you from? FUCKING ANCTARTICA?!?????!!!!! Cheryl, dear, what have you got yourself into???????

 **Sweets** : Toni, Id say

 **ChaCha** : OH MY GOD

 **Fangs** : I believe I can hear cheryl screaming

 **Sweets** : how, toni’s not with her

 **CherylBombshell** : I am going to pretend like I did not read that, Sweet Pea. Thank you Veronica for supporting me.

 **Sweets** : come on Red dont be too hard on me

 **Fangs** : or he’ll get hard on u

 **ChaCha** : I like my friends, cheryl, please dont kill em

 **CherylBombshell** : You are both disgusting creatures and I am offended that you get to share the same air I breathe.

 **RonnieUpAbove** : I can hear her whisper “disgusting, trashy, human-looking animals” from across the room, I’m dying

 **RonnieUpAbove** : lmao she just went “i cant believe it, this is the price i pay for being free from my mother”

 **Sweets** : drama queen

 **ChaCha** : guys, le’ts talk about fp’s birthday before cheryl self-combusts pls

 **ChaCha** : I love u guys, but I really dont want my girlfriend to set us on fire, so pls stop

 **Sweets** : I’ll stop

 **Fangs** : same

 **Fangs** : a dinner party tho… y

 **RonnieUpAbove** : so cheryl’s dropped her phone and she’s now dramatically cursing

 **BettyDrew** : in a spectacularly colourful way                  

 **Sweets** : drama queen

 **Fangs** : did she drop it or did she slam it against the wall

 **RonnieUpAbove** : DOESN’T MATTER. Dinner parties are amazing and we should totally throw one for FP

 **Fangs** : but like

 **Fangs** : what about a few beers at the White wyrm

 **CherylBombshell** : The thought alone makes me want to vomit. I enjoy spending time at the White Wyrm, but a birthday is a birthday, and FP has done a lot for us.

 **Sweets** : i was kinda hoping you’d broken ur phone, but whens your birthday, drama queen?

 **CherylBombshell** : Why does it matter?

 **Sweets** : so that I remember to take you there on that day

 **CherylBombshell** : I am sure you would forget it approximatively twenty seconds after being told the date.

 **CherylBombshell** : And never call me a drama queen ever again, or I will set everything you love on fire, while forcing you to watch.

 **Sweets** : drama queen


	5. Prom Night

**Cheryl Blossom**   
 @cherylbombshell

There’s beauty in fire.         

4.17 a.m- 25 May 2018

 **2** Retweets, **29** likes

**RonnieUpAbove created PROM NIGHT**

**RonnieUpAbove:** Quick question

 **RonnieUpAbove** : This might get me killed, but…

 **RonnieUpAbove** : With Cheryl’s latest tweet+ the “no gays at prom” thing solved, I was wondering…

 **RonnieUpAbove** : Did she actually set them on fire? Or did she finally kill sweet pea?

 **CherylBombshell** : No. I wanted to, but we found a “better” way.

 **BettyDrew** : so like a legal way

 **BetterKeller** : Cheryl can be… quite persuasive

 **BetterKeller** : We talked to them, she had her haunting bow casually poking out of her car, they’re still like “oh my God, she’s a Blossom” and bla bla bla, so… We got them to change their mind

 **BetterKeller** : plus, you know cheryl’s IMMADANDIWILLENDYOU voice, right

 **RonnieUpAbove** : Okay, cool, cool. Now. What do I wear.

 **SerpentKing** : What do I care?

 **CherylBombshell** : I don’t care either. I will look better than you anyways. Of course you know that when I say “you” I mean all of you.

 **BettyDrew** : I’m wearing a peach dress

 **RonnieUpAbove** : PEACH

 **BettyDrew** : What’s wrong with peach?

 **CherylBombshell** : Oh, sweet cousin. Everything’s wrong with peach.

 **RonnieUpAbove** : Is that even a question? You CANNOT wear a peach dress to prom.

 **BettyDrew** : I’m assuming Cheryl will be dressed in red, what are you wearing Veronica?

 **RonnieUpAbove** : I am not sure yet, but my options include many black dresses and some dark blue ones

 **CherylBombshell** : Who told you I’m wearing red?

 **BettyDrew** : Are you wearing red, Cheryl?

 **CherylBombshell** : Yes.

 **ChaCha** : so, this group chat is a nightmare and I’m gonna leave

**ChaCha left the group chat**

**Archiekins** : THANK YOU TONI SAME

**Archiekins left the group chat**

**RonnieUpAbove:** alright, nobody cares

 **RonnieUpAbove** : Jughead?

 **RonnieUpAbove** : alright, he muted the group chat

 **RonnieUpAbove** : Kevin?

 **BetterKeller** : sorry to ruin the gay best friend thing, but I really don’t care

**BetterKeller left the group chat**

**RonnieUpAbove** : ALRIGHT THANKS so, help me out. Let’s do options

 **RonnieUpAbove** : plunging neckline or backless dress

 **CherylBombshell** : Backless dress.

 **BettyDrew** : neither

 **RonnieUpAbove** : black or blue

 **BettyDrew** : black

 **CherylBombshell** : Black.

 **RonnieUpAbove** : long or short dress

 **BettyDrew** : long

 **CherylBombshell** : Long, definitely long.

 **RonnieUpAbove** : hair up or down

 **CherylBombshell** : Down.

 **BettyDrew** : yep, down

 **RonnieUpAbove** : k, so short blue dress, plunging neckline and hair up

 **CherylBombshell** : ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

**RonnieUpAbove added Archiekins and ChaCha to the group chat**

**RonnieUpAbove** : ALRIGHT terrible partners

 **RonnieUpAbove** : I will be wearing blue, so dress accordingly dear Archiekins

 **RonnieUpAbove** : Betty is wearing peach (vomit), so make your move Jughead (good luck)

 **RonnieUpAbove** : and well, Cheryl is wearing red (duh) you do your thing Toni

 


	6. I'll End You

**CherylBombshell created I’LL END YOU**

**CherylBombshell** : Public service announcement: if ANYONE is late, I will get mad. You all know what me getting mad means. I will end you.

 **BettyDrew** : I’m ready

 **SerpentKing** : same

 **Archiekins** : almost done

 **CherylBombshell** : I do not believe you.

 **BetterKeller** : I am not even going to lie, I’m not ready, but Moose is

 **CherylBombshell** : Is he wearing a jersey?

 **BetterKeller** : He wanted to, but he’s not

 **RonnieUpAbove** : have you noticed that YOUR girlfriend is the only one not answering?

 **CherylBombshell** : That’s because she’s in front of me and I CAN SEE HER.

 **RonnieUpAbove** : wait I thought we said no getting ready with our partner

 **BettyDrew** : who said that

 **CherylBombshell** : Who said that?

 **ChaCha** : im with Cheryl

 **BetterKeller** : I’m with Moose

 **SerpentKing** : And I’m with Betty

 **Archiekins** : ya I can see u pls stop making out

 **RonnieUpAbove** : IT HAD TO BE A SURPRISE

 **RonnieUpAbove** : Jughead was supposed to drool when seeing Betty in that terrible dress and Toni was definitely going to faint!

 **CherylBombshell** : First of all: everything looks good on me and my girlfriend is very aware of that. And Toni did faint when she saw me, so no worries.

 **CherylBombshell** : As did I when I saw her.

 **ChaCha** : AAAWWW BABYYYYY

 **SerpentKing** : I am still drooling over betty, if that helps

 **BetterKeller** : Moose didn’t faint, nor drooled

 **BetterKeller** : alright, maybe he’s drooling a tad

 **RonnieUpAbove** : i know yall are trying to help me accept that youve all BETRAYED ME

 **RonnieUpAbove** : but its not working

 **RonnieUpAbove** : and I hate all of you

 

 **Veronica Lodge**  
 @missvlodge

The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies

7.42 p.m – 30 May 2018

 **Kevin Keller** @kkeller   
Replying to @missvlodge

arE U SERIOUS RIGHT NOW

 **Toni Topaz** @serpentopaz

LOL LODGE STAHP

 **Betty Cooper** @elizabethcooper

Did cheryl write this

**CherylBombshell** : ALRIGHT, it’s time to go. Those who are ready are coming with us in the limo, the other ones will be executed when I get back.


	7. Goddammit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I feel like posting twice in a day today  
> Also, this story is getting so much love, thank you all so much!

**RonnieUpAbove created GODDAMMIT**

**RonnieUpAbove** : Guys

 **RonnieUpAbove** : SOS

 **RonnieUpAbove** : this might be my last night on earth

 **RonnieUpAbove** : I’ve lived a great life, but I will be murdered tonight

 **BettyDrew** : are you drunk

 **BetterKeller** : i didnt see you drink tho

 **SerpentKing** : stop being dramatic, what happened

 **RonnieUpAbove** : I might have walked in on Cheryl and Toni

 **SerpentKing** : OH U DEAD

 **RonnieUpAbove** : fighting.

 **SerpentKing** : well that’s even worse

 **BetterKeller** : oh no

 **BettyDrew** : V, you will die

 **BettyDrew** : not because you walked in on them

 **BettyDrew** : but

 **BettyDrew** : you added both of them to the chat

 **RonnieUpAbove** : GODDAMMIT

**RonnieUpAbove removed ChaCha and CherylBombshell from the group chat**

**BettyDrew** : they’re still going to see the messages, V

 **RonnieUpAbove** : GODDAMMIT GODDAMMIT GODDAMIT

 **Archiekins** : is that Cheryl I hear screaming

 **RonnieUpAbove** : is it bad if I’m hoping she’s still screaming at toni

 **BettyDrew** : I’m afraid she just yelled your name

 **RonnieUpAbove** : bye guys, it was a pleasure meeting you

 **SerpentKing** : your memorial will be beautiful

 **BettyDrew** : I’ll cry, I promise you

 **Archiekins** : I might have a football game that day

 **RonnieUpAbove** : so… I’m alive

 **RonnieUpAbove** : Cheryl wasn’t the one who came after me

 **RonnieUpAbove** : it was toni

 **RonnieUpAbove** : but she wasn’t mad, she looked hurt, like she’d been crying

 **RonnieUpAbove** : so I’m kind of worried

 **BetterKeller** : did she tell you what happened

 **RonnieUpAbove** : no,but she looked devastated

 **RonnieUpAbove** : and cheryl’s nowhere to be found and she’s not answering her phone

 **BetterKeller** : do you think they broke up

 **BettyDrew** : NO, NOT MY CHONI

 **RonnieUpAbove** : well that’s weird, and I’m not sure

 **RonnieUpAbove** : they might have I mean she looked distressed

 **SerpentKing** : where is she? I’ll go talk to her and make sure shes ok

 **RonnieUpAbove** : she said she was going to the whyte wyrm

 **BettyDrew** : what about Cheryl where is she

 **RonnieUpAbove** : I have no idea

 **SerpentKing** : I found toni she’s drunk

 **RonnieUpAbove** : she ok tho?

 **SerpentKing** : it doesn’t look like it

 **SerpentKing** : she’ll start talking soon

 **SerpentKing** : or pass out, I’m nto sure

 **SerpentKing** : she said they were in a fight and i quote “cheryl doesnt love me”

 **SerpentKing** : im not too sure about how to handle this

 **SerpentKing** : shes crying

 **BettyDrew** : shes drunk, I don’t think she knows what she’s talking about

 **RonnieUpAbove** : ya, we all know cheyrl loves her

 **SerpentKing** : yes but what if she pulled an old cheryl

 **SerpentKing** : we all heard her yell, like, like she used to

 **BettyDrew** : she would never do that to toni

 **SerpentKing** : i know but what if she did

 **SerpentKing** : maybe she got angry, who knows, u know how cheryl can be

 **BettyDrew** : i know, sometimes she can say hurtful things

 **BetterKeller** : I found Cheryl guys!

 **BettyDrew** : thank god where was she?

 **BetterKeller** : Sweetwater river, alone in the dark, sitting on the shore

 **BettyDrew** : SWEETWATER RIVER???

 **BetterKeller** : “the water is so calming, I feel like I’m breathing again”. This is mildly creepy

 **BettyDrew** : did she say anything else

 **BetterKeller** : no, nothing else

 **BetterKeller** : she knows I’m here and signed for me to sit down next to her, but idont think she’s going to talk

 **SerpentKing** : toni passed out

 **RonnieUpAbove** : at least they’re both safe

 **BetterKeller** : it’s weird, u know

 **BetterKeller** : cheryl blossom, the queen of mean people, the girls who scares ninety percent of our school, the girl who wears red lipstick and stilettos everywhere she goes, is crying next to me 

**BetterKeller** : and keeps repeating that shes worried that toni might walk away because she doesnt know how to deal with emotions

 **BetterKeller** : she said she freaked out and yelled at toni for no apparent reason

 **BetterKeller** : right after toni told her she’s in love with her

 **BetterKeller** : she looks so small


	8. Soz

**ChaCha created SOZ**

**ChaCha:** i’m sorry for the other day guys

 **ChaCha** : I know im a mess when im drunk

 **ChaCha** : but i was awful and im sorry

 **Archiekins** : dont worry toni, we’re good

 **BettyDrew** : ya, Archie is right don’t worry

 **ChaCha** : thanks guys and thanks jughead for taking me home

 **SerpentKing** : of course

 **ChaCha** : oh and THANK YOU kevin for talking to cheryl

 **BetterKeller** : always

 **BetterKeller** : I almost died when I saw cheryl’s post on Instagram

 **BettyDrew** : WHAT POST, WAIT

 

 **Cherylbombshell**  
Riverdale, Canada

 

 

 

 

 

 

Liked by **queenvlodge** , **jjthird** and **120 others**

 **Cherylbombshell** My one and only. I love you, TT.

 **Kkeller** y’all are cute I’m dead   
**serpentopaz** I LOVE YOU   
**queenvlodge** guys stahp   
**josiejosiejosie** I ship it

 

 **BettyDrew** : OH MA GAWD

 **BettyDrew** : THEY CUUUUTEEE

 **BettyDrew** : and I’m with josie, I ship it #CHONI

 **CherylBombshell** : You are weird.

 **CherylBombshell** : I’m leaving.

**CherylBombshell left the chat**

**RonnieUpAbove:** so, quick question

 **RonnieUpAbove** : now that everything between choni is fine

 **RonnieUpAbove** : is cheryl going to kill me

 **ChaCha** : nah, I don’t think so

 **ChaCha** : I might be wrong tho

 **SerpentKing** : she’s unpredictable

 **BetterKeller** : and she was VERY angry

 **RonnieUpAbove** : maybe she forgot

 **BettyDrew** : cheryl never forgets

 **BettyDrew** : I’d look out for hunting bows

 **Archiekins** : and candle holders

 **SerpentKing** : and red Chevrolet impalas

 **BettyDrew** : but shes in love

 **BettyDrew** : maybe she’ll pretend to forget

 **RonnieUpAbove** : maybe she left the group chat because she’s coming here to rip my head off

 **ChaCha** : no worries, she’s with me

 **RonnieUpAbove** : can u keep her there like

 **RonnieUpAbove** : forever?

 **ChaCha** : gladly.

 

 

 


	9. FP'S birthday

**ChaCha created FP’S BIRTHDAY**

**ChaCha** : i know y’all thought you escaped me

 **ChaCha** : but u didn’t

 **ChaCha** : we will be throwing a dinner party

 **ChaCha** : at thistlehouse on wednesday night

 **ChaCha** : and everyone on this group chat HAS to come

 **ChaCha** : in case any of u plan on not coming, I’ll gladly remind you that the dinner party is at Thistlehouse

 **ChaCha** : so, like, CHERYL’S HOUSE

 **Sweets** : red’s here with me, she’s “helping” with some school work

 **Sweets** : shes actually yelling at me because i apparently am a stupid dumbass worm

 **Sweets** : I feel like I should yell back, but something tells me shed put an arrow up my ass

 **Sweets** : so ill be there

 **Fangs** : alright, i really doubt cheryl would put an arrow up ur ass, shed probably blind herself if she ever even saw your ass

 **Fangs** : dinner party @thistlehouse=free food

 **Fangs** : count me in

 **RonnieUpAbove** : I’m coming

 **SerpentKing** : its my fathers birthday, so ill be there

 **BettyDrew** : isn’t Wednesday like tomorrow

 **ChaCha** : ya

 **BetterKeller** : can I brng moose

 **ChaCha** : of course, +1s are welcome

 **BetterKeller** : cool

 **Archiekins** : ill be there with my plus one

 **RonnieUpAbove** : I already said ill be there

 **Archiekins** : who said ur my +1

 **RonnieUpAbove** : what

 **Archiekins** : im coming with jughead

 **RonnieUpAbove** : u fucking idiot

 **Archiekins** : im serious

 **SerpentKing** : ya he is

 **CherylBombshell** : Nobody cares who you are coming with, as long as you’ll be there.

 **CherylBombshell** : Let’s hope nobody gets too drunk this time.

 **SerpentKing** : are you looking at yourself?

 **CherylBombshell** : Maybe I’m looking at your girlfriend. You know, the girl who slept in the garden.

 **BettyDrew** : I don’t get how it’s always my fault

 **RonnieUpAbove** : bc it always is b

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nobody's gonna get drunk at FP's birthday, I swear.  
> SURE, JAN.


	10. V

**BettyDrew created V**

**BettyDrew** : so veronica broke up with archie

 **ChaCha** : again?

 **SerpentKing** : I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE

 **BetterKeller** : so im guessing they’ll be back together later tonight?

 **BettyDrew** : I think she actually meant it this time

 **CherylBombshell** : Sweet cousin, you know she is never serious and tends to be quite dramatic when it comes to fighting.

 **BetterKeller** : and that coming from cheryl means a lot

 **BetterKeller** : I agree with cher

 **BettyDrew** : no, guys

 **BettyDrew** : she really meant it

 **BettyDrew** : she said she’s done, that she thought he was different

 **ChaCha** : honestly? It was about time

 **SerpentKing** : I really don’t want to be here

 **SerpentKing** : I think I’m gonna leave

 **SerpentKing** : I’ll see y’all tonight at thistlehouse

**SerpentKing left the group chat**

**BetterKeller** : oh my god, fp’s birthday

 **BetterKeller** : what do we do

 **ChaCha** : what do u mean

 **BetterKeller** : r they both coming

 **ChaCha** : ya

 **BetterKeller** : how

 **ChaCha** : by car, I assume

 **BetterKeller** : definitely nto what I meant and you know it

 **ChaCha** : I know, i don’t care, I told them both to come

 **ChaCha** : theres going to be a lot of people, they can get drunk and forget whatever happened between them

 **BettyDrew** : but what if they fight again?

 **ChaCha** : you’re right

 **ChaCha** : maybe we should ask them if theyr’e still feeling up for it

 **CherylBombshell** : Convince them to come tonight. I’m in the mood for chaos.

 


	11. Chug Jug

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Pride month people!

**BetterKeller created CHUG JUG**

**BetterKeller** : this is amazing

 **BetterKeller** : I cant believe I get to witness this beauty with my own two eyes

 **CherylBombshell** : This is a disaster.

 **BetterKeller** : at least ur house is not on fire

 **CherylBombshell** : Is that supposed to make me feel better?

 **BetterKeller** : I mean

 **BetterKeller** : ya

 **CherylBombshell** : Keller, you and I are the only two sober people in Thistlehouse at the moment and there’s about sixty people in here.

 **BettyDrew** : I’m sober and looking at Josie drinking straight vodka like it’s water while she sings “tequila” she’s confused

 **BettyDrew** : also, fangs is eating what looks like a raw potato isn’t it like poisonous

 **CherylBombshell** : Good, then there’s three of us. Archie took his shirt off and he is currently sitting on the stairs and talking to himself about the importance of consuming good whiskey. Jughead is chugging beers like there’s no tomorrow, hence the name of the group chat. Veronica is nowhere to be found, but I am afraid I might have seen her leave with Sweet Pea, and that’s bad enough.

 **BetterKeller** : u forgot ur girlfriend

 **BetterKeller** : have u seen her

 **CherylBombshell** : Should I be worried?

 **BetterKeller** : nah, I’m looking at her at the moment

 **BetterKeller** : she’s lounging

 **CherylBombshell** : She’s what now?

 **BetterKeller** : she’s laying down by the pool, a drink in her hand and laughing quietly to herself

 **BetterKeller** : she just went “oh, no, Barbara. I’m sorry that your son had to miss polo practice”

 **CherylBombshell** : At least she managed to be a quiet drunk this time.

 **BettyDrew** : are you telling me you didn’t see her with fangs earlier

BetterKeller: also, am I wrong or did she try to get your number earlier and cried when you told her you had a girlfriend

 **CherylBombshell** : No, I’m afraid I haven’t seen her with Fangs. I am unfortunately aware of my girlfriend’s weirdness when she’s drunk.

 **RonnieUpAbove** : guys wehre am i

 **RonnieUpAbove** : I cant fndm y phone

 **BettyDrew** : Veronica? Are you okay

 **CherylBombshell** : I’m calling Sweet Pea.

 **RonnieUpAbove** : what tiem is it

 **RonnieUpAbove** : what is cheryl doing here

 **RonnieUpAbove** : ah shes noth ere, her voice is thohug

 **CherylBombshell** : Veronica is with Sweet Pea, don’t worry guys.

 **BettyDrew** : what

 **CherylBombshell** : I just called him and he confirmed what I saw earlier.

 **BetterKeller** : what

 **BettyDrew** : where are they what are they doing together

 **CherylBombshell** : I really don’t care, so I didn’t ask. Keller, is my girlfriend still channelling her inner rich white lady?

 **BetterKeller** : yep. Now she said brad (her husband) needs new boat shoes

 **BettyDrew** : how did fp’s dinner party turn into this

 **BettyDrew** : literally everyone but the three of us is drunk

 **CherylBombshell** : Alright, I’m coming there.

 **BetterKeller** : guys, I know you’re all drunk

 **BetterKeller** : youll read this in the morning

 **BetterKeller** : so its’ like four in the morning, I’m sitting by cheryl’s pool while making sure toni doesn’t decide it’s time for her to go swimming

 **BetterKeller** : its sort of warm and the lights around the pool make everything look a bit magical

 **BetterKeller** : I see cheryl walking out of the house and towards toni and i

 **BetterKeller** : she looks powerful and almost scary, even though it’s four a.m and she’s clearly tired

 **BetterKeller** : make up on point, hair on point, she still has high heels on, I’m not even going to comment on her dress because that shit’s DA BOMB

 **BetterKeller** : I look at toni who’s laying down next to the pool

 **BetterKeller** : make up smudged around the eyes, hair up in a messy bun, I’m pretty sure she lost her shoes. All the effort she put into looking presentable vanished when she chugged the fifth beer earlier. She’s been talking to herself ofr like one hour, with her fake husband and children

 **BetterKeller** : cheryl says hi to me and walks up to her (I can see the sun in her eyes)

 **BetterKeller** : she sists down, adjust the dress so that it covers her body and starts stroking toni’s hair

 **BetterKeller** : toni opens her eyes and gives cheryl one of the brightest smiles I’ve ever seen in my whole life

 **BetterKeller** : she goes “I was being a rich white lady, my husband is an asshole and my kids are ungrateful bitches”

 **BetterKeller** : cheryl “im sorry about your family”

 **BetterKeller** : toni smiles again and says “im sure youll give me a better family”

BetterKeller: cheryl said she’ll try and that she knows that toni loves channeling her inner white girl

 **BetterKeller** : toni is silent for a moment and then goes “you know what I enjoy doing more?”

 **BetterKeller** : I start to panic here for a moment, afraid I’m going to hear stuff I really don’t want to hear

 **BetterKeller** : but then toni smiles again and goes “I enjoy loving you, it’s like my favourite activity in the world”

 **BetterKeller** : she’s messy, her voice is raspy from the alcohol and cheryl looks like the exact opposite, and this is so weird to witness

 **BetterKeller** : now I’m crying

 **BetterKeller** : cheryl said “loving you is one of the easiest things I’ve ever done in my entire life” and something along the lines of “you never asked me to change, but accepted me for who I am and I’ll be forever grateful”  and then she kissed her and went “I promise I wont be a shit wife if we ever get married”

 **BetterKeller** : theyre so soft and im so used to seeing cheryl with murder fire in her eyes

 **BetterKeller** : this is a gay dream


	12. What

**BettyDrew created what**

**BettyDrew** : in light of last night… Is everyone ok?

 **BettyDrew** : also, thank you kevin for that amazing tale about choni, i loved it

 **CherylBombshell** : It’s amusing to see how much you all want us to be together.

 **BettyDrew** : IT’S CALLED SHIPPING, WE SHIP YOU TWO TOGETHER

 **CherylBombshell** : I am not using that verb. Not now, not ever.

 **CherylBombshell** : Toni is alright, but refuses to look at her phone. Apparently it’s too bright and “wants to blind me”.

 **BetterKeller** : of course cooper, it was a pleasure

 **BetterKeller** : I ship #choni and you heard it first

 **BetterKeller** : they will get married

 **BetterKeller** : hows jughead?

 **SerpentKing** : im good

 **BettyDrew** : hes dead

 **SerpentKing** : im alive

 **RonnieUpAbove** : my head

 **RonnieUpAbove** : I wish I could take it off

 **Archiekins** : like u did last night

 **RonnieUpAbove** : im sorry what?

 **Archiekins** : where were u last nihgt

 **Archiekins** : I was in the group chat, you know

 **RonnieUpAbove** : I don’t see the problem

 **Archiekins** : where were u

 **RonnieUpAbove** : I was with sweet pea

 **Archiekins** : we broke up yesterday and u were already with somebody else

**CherylBombshell removed Archiekins from the chat**

**RonnieUpAbove:** wht happened

 **CherylBombshell** : I really don’t want to see that much disrespect.

 **RonnieUpAbove** : I didn’t sleep with sweet pea

 **CherylBombshell** : I do not care. It wouldn’t matter even if you did. Your life is your life, Veronica, and nobody else’s.

 **BettyDrew** : ya, she’s right

 **BetterKeller** : you do you, lodge

 **Archie Andrews** @aaarchie 1h

Weird how people can tell u they love u and then go sleep around

 

 **Jughead Jones** @jjjones3 1h

Replying to @aaarchie

I think you should stop

 **Cheryl Blossom** @cherylbombshell 1h

I’ll obliterate you into oblivion if you don’t stop.


	13. Fck that

**Sweets created fuck that**

**Sweets** : so what do we do

 **BetterKeller** : …….. about what

 **Sweets** : Andrews

 **BetterKeller** : what about him

 **Fangs** : he walked up to us today before school and said we need to leave Veronica alone

 **Sweets** : hes being really weird

 **ChaCha** : he is

 **ChaCha** : I saw him and cheryl fighting over something

 **ChaCha** : turns out he had yelled at her because she was eating an apple in the wrong way

 **ChaCha** : for a moment I thought shed let him yell, but then she threw her apple at him

 **ChaCha** : and the rest of her tray

 **Sweets** : he keeps texting me about some girl ive never seen before

 **Sweets** : but usually avoids me in public

 **BettyDrew** : ive noticed weird behaviour as well

 **BettyDrew** : I asked him if he wanted to talk about it and he avoided me

 **BettyDrew** : he never opens his blinds so that I can never see if he’s home

 **SerpentKing** : he’ll get over it

 **CherylBombshell** : I’m okay with him being weird as long as he does not bother Veronica. If this is him trying to understand what’s wrong with him, then I’m happy.

 **Sweets** : yo Red what if he goes nuts

 **CherylBombshell** : And what would “going nuts” entail?

 **Sweets** : I dunno

 **Sweets** : maybe he convinces himself that I have feelings for veronica and decides to fight me

 **SerpentKing** : he wont, don’t worry

 **Sweets** : I’m not holding back if he does

 **ChaCha** : we were all pretty clear about you and veronica being friends

 **ChaCha** : and I don’t think hed resort to violence

 **SerpentKing** : just let it go

 **SerpentKing** : hell whine for a while and then old archie will be back

 **BettyDrew:** so cheryl’s talking to archie at the moment

 **BettyDrew** : I walked past the music room and I saw them together

 **BettyDrew** : im not sure they saw me, but cheryl looked pretty angry

 **BettyDrew** : archie looked like a toddler being yelled at by his mother

 **BettyDrew** : I walked away because cheryl would kill me if she saw me

 **ChaCha** : guys

 **ChaCha** : do I tell her that cheryl’s in the group chat?

 **BetterKeller** : no, dont

 **BettyDrew** : oh fuck my life

 **BettyDrew** : I forgot about that

 **Sweets** : good luck with that

 **BettyDrew** : maybe shes yelled enough for the day

 **Fangs** : that’s not even possible

 **BettyDrew** : im screwed

 **CherylBombshell** : I can’t leave you alone for five minutes. I wasn’t yelling at Archie, I was explaining to him why what he was doing was wrong and he said that I was right.

 **BettyDrew** :…………. Did he really

 **CherylBombshell** : Yes. He said he’s been stressed and that he shouldn’t take it out on us and that he’ll apologize to each and everyone of us. Since I was there, he started with me and I’m pretty sure he is now looking for Veronica.

 **BettyDrew** : so, like

 **BettyDrew** : it’s good

 **BettyDrew** : u did something good

 **CherylBombshell** : Don’t sound too surprised.

 

 

 


	14. Photography nerds

**ChaCha created photography nerds**

**ChaCha** : HELLO FELLOW LIARS

 **ChaCha** : ur probably all wondering

 **ChaCha** : but toni what is this about

 **ChaCha** : THIS IS ABOUT THE NIGHT I SHARED MY FIRST MOMENT WITH CHERYL

 **ChaCha** : THE NIGHT I REALIZED THERE WAS SO MUCH MORE BEHIND HER FAÇADE

 **ChaCha** : the magical night that happened ALMOST a year ago

 **ChaCha** : AND the surprise thingy I want to do to celebrate that

 **ChaCha** : I realize you’re all thinking WHY DO YOU WANT US TO BE A PART OF THIS?

 **ChaCha** : the answer is simple yall

 **ChaCha** : YOU ARE ALL PART OF CHERYL’S FAMILY

 **ChaCha** : she grew up surrounded by fucking monsters and she finally has a family that loves her and supports her

 **ChaCha** : so our first moment is actually an excuse to throw a party for her

 **BetterKeller** : and the gay dream continues

 **BettyDrew** : my little shipper heart #choni for life

 **Sweets** : U R WEIRD and I love it

 **Arch** : it’s so weird to think that ur doing this for cheryl BLOSSOM and she’s going to love it

 **Fangs** : ur so soft

 **RonnieUpAbove** : oh my gawhd im melting this is lovely

 **SerpentKing** : youre going to make me look bad with betty

 **SerpentKing** : shes going to tell me that I never do sweet shit for her

 **SerpentKing** : I hate you toni

 **BettyDrew** : that’s not true, you do sweet stuff for me

 **BettyDrew** : don’t be too hard on yourself

 **BetterKeller** : so what’s the plan?

 **ChaCha** : so the night is next week, on Thursday

 **ChaCha** : the plan is… Well, im going to be awful to her all day long and make her mad and then ill disappear, she’ll text you and you need to make her even angrier

 **ChaCha** : shell get mad and ask yall where I am so that she can come and yell at me

 **ChaCha** : youll tell her that I’m at the whyte wyrm

 **ChaCha** : she’ll come yelling because a. she hates the whyte wyrm and b. because shes mad at me

 **ChaCha** : I wont be there and shell get even angrier

 **ChaCha** : tall boy will be there and shell ask him if hes seen me and hell tell her about julia

 **ChaCha** : then shell come to the drive in place thinking to find me and Julia fucking in the car

 **ChaCha** : shell be too angry to realize that love simon is playing in the background and that all of you are there

 **ChaCha** : then ill come out with yall still in your cars

 **ChaCha** : well watch the movie

 **ChaCha** : and then well party

 **Sweets** : and then youll get  your sweet dessert ;D

 **ChaCha** : ill show her this message once it’s done

 


	15. Mad

**CherylBombshell created MAD**

**CherylBombshell** : What the fuck is wrong with Toni?

 **BettyDrew** : im assuming you created this group chat to tell us?

 **CherylBombshell** : You can bet your precious ponytail I did.

 **CherylBombshell** : I called her this morning to ask if she wanted to have breakfast with me and she had the audacity to tell me that she was drinking straight gin with some serpent girl. At nine a.m.

 **CherylBombshell** : I pretended not to care, as I always do, and asked about lunch.

 **CherylBombshell** : She replied she had plans. Still with this serpent girl I’ve never heard of.

 **CherylBombshell** : It’s fine, I can find other things to do. I asked her to come over in the afternoon. If you’re wondering what she said and secretly hoping that she’s here with me now… I’m sorry, but you’re wrong.

 **CherylBombshell** : She told ME I was BOTHERING her and being quite ANNOYING with my demands. Ah, and she asked to be left alone. I am respecting her wishes and stopped texting her.

 **CherylBombshell** : Am I being annoying? I don’t care who she’s with, I trust her, I just feel really weird.

 **CherylBombshell** : I… I mean, it’s stupid, but… One year ago today Toni told me some things that… Well, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that I was planning on spending the day with her and now I feel stupid.

 **BettyDrew** : well that’s harsh

 **CherylBombshell** : I have decided to give her one last chance before I drive myself to wherever she is and put an arrow through her skull. I’ll ask her to come see me for dinner.

 **RonnieUpAbove** : wow cheryl, im sorry

 **BettyDrew** : is the girl’s name Julia?

 **CherylBombshell** : Yes, why?

 **BettyDrew** : no nothing

 **CherylBombshell** : Betty. Do you know something I don’t?

 **BettyDrew** : nope

 **BettyDrew** : im not doing this

 **CherylBombshell** : Betty. I know where you live and I am very angry.

 **BettyDrew** : I might have heard jug saying how this girl Julia has a crush on toni and has been trying to get with her

 **RonnieUpAbove** : oh no

 **CherylBombshell** : I know you think that this is funny, but it’s not. I believe I would have heard of this if it were true.

 **BettyDrew** : but what if toni didnt want you to find out

 **CherylBombshell** : Sweet cousin, are you suggesting that my girlfriend is cheating on me?

 **BettyDrew** : that is not what I said

 **BettyDrew** : I know Julia has a crush on her and that’s about it

 **RonnieUpAbove** : so I know you trust toni and I wish I had what you guys have but… I would worry

 **RonnieUpAbove** : like you said shes being weird, right

 **CherylBombshell** : I still don’t think Toni would ever do that to me.

 **RonnieUpAbove** : you never know, a drink more than usual and whoops

 **BettyDrew** : v is right+ toni is a messy drinker+ they were doing gin at 9 a.m

 **CherylBombshell** : She declined dinner as well. Apparently she has plans with this Julia girl. Again.

 **CherylBombshell** : Are you guys free tonight? I need to go out.

 **BettyDrew** : im sorry cheryl, I have a huge test tomorrow and I really need to study

 **BettyDrew** : but, honestly, id go see what the fuck is up with this Julia

 **RonnieUpAbove** : ya, same id casually go to the whyte wyrm and fight a bitch

 **CherylBombshell** : You are right. I am going to the Whyte Wyrm.

 **CherylBombshell** : So Toni is not here. A guy winked at me while telling me that she went to the drive-in with a gorgeous young lady.

 **CherylBombshell** : I am on the verge of vomiting. I might even set this place on fire.

 **CherylBombshell** : I feel like I should go there, but I am afraid of what I might find.

 **CherylBombshell** : Alright, I’m going. I’ll deal with whatever I find. Tonight might end with murder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all don't worry  
> I ship Choni so much my stomach actually hurts when I think about either of them getting hurt


	16. Choni

**BetterKeller created CHONI**

**BetterKeller** : i ship them so much

 **BettyDrew** : I KNOW, RIGHT

 **RonnieUpAbove** : ya, we know, you both are the captains of the choni ship

 **BetterKeller** : how can u not, they’re so cute

 **RonnieUpAbove** : I know, do I need to remind you that I had to convince cheryl that toni was cheating on her yesterday

 **CherylBombshell** : Okay, first of all: why are you talking about us as if we weren’t here? And then, you didn’t convince me.

 **RonnieUpAbove** : I know D: you trust her too much

 **RonnieUpAbove** : I tried my best

 **BetterKeller** : honestly? I loved everything about yesterday

 **BetterKeller** : Angry Cheryl is my favourite thing in the world

 **BetterKeller** : In Love Cheryl is amazing as well

 **ChaCha** : baby look, we have our own group chat and a set of creepy fans

 **ChaCha** : yay

 **CherylBombshell** : Please, do not encourage them.

 **CherylBombshell** : Also, I am still mad at you for having them try to convince me that you were cheating on me.

 **BettyDrew** : WE DO NOT NEED ENCOURAGEMENT

 **ChaCha** : it was honeslty the first thing that came to mind when thiking about what to do to get you mad

 **BetterKeller** : literally talking to her makes her mad

 **ChaCha** : NOT WHEN YOU’RE ME

 **BettyDrew** : I mean, thankfully

 **BettyDrew** : ur her girlfriend

 **RonnieUpAbove** : plus, we did make u pretty angry

 **CherylBombshell** : It wouldn’t have worked if it was any other day, though.

 **RonnieUpAbove** : I was like trying to convince you that toni would cheat on you, even tho I knew well enough that its impossible

 **RonnieUpAbove** : and as believable as pigs flying

 **RonnieUpAbove** : I was actually thinking about finding someone good with photoshop to send you a photo of the two of them kissing or something

 **RonnieUpAbove** : then I realized it meant certain death for more than one person, so I desisted

 **BettyDrew** : I knew she wouldnt believe it

 **BettyDrew** : but that was kinda the point

 **BettyDrew** : like, u had to go to the drive-in and be fucking angry

 **BettyDrew** : so we managed to do that

 **CherylBombshell** : @RonnieUpAbove I would have killed the both of them and then you upon finding out the truth.

 **CherylBombshell** : @BettyDrew: Thankfully you didn’t help Veronica with her manic idea.

 **ChaCha** : ALSO the first idea I had was to pretend t oget kidnapped

 **ChaCha** : but then I realized that it actually happened and it ended with you almost sending an arrow through that ghoulie’s skull

 **ChaCha** : so that’s a no-no

 


	17. Drunk

**Sweets created drunk**

**Sweets** : so we didnt drink at tiny toni and red’s thing

 **Sweets** : and I really need to get drunk

**Fangs changed the name of the group chat from “drunk” to drunk n horny**

**Fangs** : what u need is someone

 **Sweets** : I need beers

 **SerpentKing** : why are groupchats always about getting drunk

 **SerpentKing** : ill make one for school projects

 **ChaCha** : u basically live at the whyte wyrm

 **ChaCha** : home of riverdale’s best beer

 **CherylBombshell** : I beg to differ.

 **Fangs** : u don’t even drink beer

 **SerpentKing** : shes too fancy for our beer

 **CherylBombshell** : I am.

 **Sweets** : so that’s absolutely not the point

 **Sweets** : I need a party of some sorts

 **Sweets** : I need to get drunk and watch you guys passing out and doing weird shit

 **ChaCha** : what weird shit

 **BetterKeller** : yo, rich white lady, pls stop

 **ChaCha** : KEVIN.

 **BetterKeller** : im assuming that counts as weird shit

 **Sweets** : yep it does

 **Sweets** : and that’s what I need

 **CherylBombshell** : Try giving ma chérie a bottle of wine, she’ll start channelling her inner rich white lady in the blink of an eye.

 **ChaCha** : I hate u

 **CherylBombshell** : Of course you do.

 **ChaCha** : u did call me your cherie tho, so thats fun

 **Sweets** : K STOP IT WE’RE HAVING A PARTY

 **BettyDrew** : what for

 **Sweets** : what

 **Sweets** : just bc we want to

 **BettyDrew** : that makes no sense

 **RonnieUpAbove** : im okay with it

 **CherylBombshell** : I’ll come if you don’t ask to use Thistlehouse.

 **Sweets** : WHY NOT CHEYRL

 **CherylBombshell** : Mainly because you spelled my name wrong.

 **Sweets** : I made an effort

 **Sweets** : first time in my life idont call you red and I manage to fuck it up  

 **Sweets** : pls we need thistlehouse

 **ChaCha** : oh cheryl come on

 **Fangs** : cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeryl pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease

 **SerpentKing** : I thought you weren’t up for the party

 **Fangs** : alcohooooooooooooooool is always good

 **SerpentKing** : then please cheryl can we destroy your house once again

 **BettyDrew** : pretty please

 **BetterKeller** : yaaaaas cheryl pleaaaaaaaaseeeeeeeee

 **RonnieUpAbove** : what is up with thistlehouse that everyone wants it

 **CherylBombshell** : I feel like I have five children. I do not want five children.

 **Arch** : please mother give us thistlehouse

 **CherylBombshell** : I have six children.

 **RonnieUpAbove** : u keep them, I don’t want them

 **CherylBombshell** : You can have Thistlehouse, but it’s the last time I do something nice.


	18. Never Again

**CherylBombshell** created NEVER AGAIN

 **CherylBombshell** : Why do I keep letting you convince me to do these stupid things?

 **RonnieUpAbove** : honestly

 **RonnieUpAbove** : ur crazy

 **RonnieUpAbove** : I told you not to do it

 **CherylBombshell** : You did not. You were among those who begged me.

 **RonnieUpAbove** : nope

 **RonnieUpAbove** : and it’s not that bad anyways

 **CherylBombshell** : As Kevin once said, at least my house is not on fire.

 **RonnieUpAbove** : not yet

 **Fangs** : did I lose my phone

 **CherylBombshell** : I’m going to take a wild guess and say no.

 **BettyDrew** : I feel really good

 **SerpentKing** : r u sure

 **BettyDrew** : yes

 **ChaCha** : I mean u did vomit like four times already

 **ChaCha** : id assume theres no alcohol anymore

 **BettyDrew** : what do u mean theres no alcohol anymore

 **BettyDrew** : I need a drink

 **ChaCha** : I meant like in ur body

 **Arch** : I think we should do body shots

 **Sweets** : I agree

 **CherylBombshell** : We should not.

 **Arch** : ur not invited anyways

 **Arch** : well find somebody else to lick salt off tonis belly

 **CherylBombshell** : Please stop drinking.

 **SerpentKing** : but moooooooooooooooooother

 **Sweets** : come on red

 **Sweets** : u usually enjoy alcohol

 **CherylBlossom** : I do.

 **Sweets** : why rnt u drinking then

 **CherylBombshell** : Because I do not enjoy feeling faded. I did have a glass or two.

 **Sweets** : u should be having like 20

 **RonnieUpAbove** : is jingle jangle more ur speed

**Arch: oh no**

**SerpentKing:** damn

 **BettyDrew** : and then im the drunk one

 **Sweets** : oh lodge oh lodge oh lodge

 **Fangs** : fuck I can smell ifre

 **CherylBombshell** : I am not setting my own house on fire this time.

 **Sweets** : THIS TIME WHAT THE FUCK

 **Fangs** : I fkcn knew it

 **CherylBombshell** : I have learned how to deal with you drunks.

 **BettyDrew:** wheres kevin anyways

 **MMMoose** : first time u add me on the group chat and im already useful

 **MMMoose** : hes with me

 **BettyDrew** : where

 **MMMoose** : in d garden

 **CherylBombshell** : Is Toni, or rather, Mackenzie, outside with you?

 **BettyDrew** : is that the name she chose

 **CherylBombshell** : Apparently.

 **MMMoose** : nope, not here

 **ChaCha** : u know u can ask me right

 **CherylBombshell** : Where are you, darling?

 **ChaCha** : IM NOT TELLING U

 **CherylBombshell:** This is exactly why I didn’t ask you in the first place.

 **ChaCha** : can u come here

 **ChaCha** : I miss u

 **CherylBombshell:** That’s really sweet, but you haven’t told me where I can find you.

 **ChaCha** : I AM NTO TELLING

 **CherylBombshell** : I give up.

 **Arch** : Im with veronica, if anyone’s interested

 **SerpentKing** : we can literally see you making out

 **SerpentKing** : im about to vomit

 **BettyDrew** : it’s the tequila

 **SerpentKing** : I didn’t have any

 **BettyDrew** : right that was me


	19. Change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, I forgot to update yesterday D:

**BettyDrew created CHANGE**

**BettyDrew** : i need a new name

 **RonnieUpAbove** : what

 **Sweets** : im leaving

 **BettyDrew** : I need a new screen name

 **CherylBombshell** : BettySucker? Maybe FuckingBetty?

 **BettyDrew** : thanks cheryl

 **CherylBombshell** : Of course.

 **RonnieUpAbove** : fuckingbetty sounds amazing

 **BettyDrew** : ill do that if u change yours to fuckingveronica

 **Arch** : maybe I should change my name to fuckingveronica

 **ChaCha** : OH MY GOD

 **CherylBombshell** : I’m happy to report that Toni just chocked on her milkshake and spat on my face.

 **ChaCha** : whoops

 **RonnieUpAbove** : ARCHIE

 **Sweets** : sounds about right to me

 **Fangs** : yep

 **Fangs** : go for it

 **BettyDrew** : im not changing my screen name to fuckingbetty

 **SerpentKing** : ……………………………… should I

 **ChaCha** : it sounds so wrong when ur the one saying it

 **BettyDrew** : I will kill u

 **SerpentKing** : I know it felt weird

 **Ach** : what about toni

 **ChaCha** : Do not say a word.

 **Arch** : hi cheryl :D

 **CherylBombshell** : she stole my phone and i stole hers

 **CherylBombshell** : its time to fucken party

 **BettyDrew** : this is so weird to see

 **BettyDrew** : like no give her her phone back

 **RonnieUpAbove** : I thought my eyes had deceived me

 **RonnieUpAbove** : turns out choni enjoy stealing each other’s phone

 **BettyDrew** : we still haven’t found a new name for this lovely person

 **SerpentKing** : why r u talking about me , I don’t need a name change

 **BettyDrew** : ill change it to murderingjughead

 **BetterKeller** : I mean

 **BetterKeller** : it sounds legit

 **RonnieUpAbove** : yep i like it

 **ChaCha** : i love it

 **Sweets** : I wish I had thought of that

 **Fangs** : I will pay you a beer

 **CherylBombshell** : This is riveting.

 **BettyDrew** : then I guess it’s settled

 **SerpentKing** : Y’ALL


	20. New Phone Who Dis

**Arch created NEW PHONE WHO DIS**

**Arch** : when is school over

 **MMMose** : in like four months

 **Arch** : why

 **MurderingJughead** : because that’s how it works

 **RonnieUpAbove** : im literally in love with your screen name

 **SerpentKing** : I hate it

 **ChaCha** : what is this group chat even about

 **ChaCha** : and I lve ur screen name as well

 **CherylBombshell** : Here we go, another useless group chat. Why do you keep putting me through this?

 **Sweets** : drama queen

 **CherylBombshell** : I will slit your throat open and drink your blood.

 **RonnieUpAbove** : VAMPIRE

 **RonnieUpAbove** : anyone?

 **MurderingJughead** : we’ve talked about this v

 **MurderingJughead** : she’s not a vampire

 **RonnieUpAbove** : or so we’re told

 **CherylBombshell** : You’d be dead if I were a vampire.

 **RonnieUpAbove** : …….

 **RonnieUpAbove** : I mean that’s fair

 **ChaCha** : I love u cheryl

 **BetterKeller** : I came back because of choni

 **CherylBombshell** : You moron. You are a grievously incompetent microcephalus and a catatonic sheep-molesting cesspool of sub-human filth.

 **ChaCha** : she’s so sweet

 **BetterKeller** : can u actually read topaz?

 **Arch** : so this was about me

 **Fangs** : u never said why you created this

 **Arch** : im bored

 **Sweets** : now cheryl

 **Sweets** : now

 **CherylBombshell** : You stupid piece of garbage, wasting my time like this? I am outraged and I will cut all your hair off and make you eat it. You are a naive coma-inducing proof that evolution can go in reverse.

 **Arch** : okay wow

 **CherylBombshell** : I am muting this chat right now.

 **SerpentKing** : she sounds… Happy today

 **MMMoose** : she’s my spirit animal

 **MurderingJughead** : I love it when her anger is not directed towards me

 **RonnieUpAbove** : she’s so angry all the time I love it

 **ChaCha** : u guys know that she’s going to read this chat eventually, right

 **BetterKeller** : r u sure

 **BetterKeller** : I don’t think she is

 **MurderingJughead** : plus this is us praising her

 **RonnieUpAbove** : she loves us, just check her twitter

 

Cheryl Blossom @cherylbombshell 

My friends are garbage.

42 likes

 

 **RonnieUpAbove** : she called us her friends

 **MurderingJughead** : im gonna cry

 **BetterKeller** : im shook

 **BetterKeller** : also, reading cheryl’s tweets is like reading the morning paper

 **BetterKeller** : it’s hate and anger on hate and anger mixed with curse words and insults

 **CherylBombshell** : You irredeemably parasitic louts and naive soul-destroying blights upon society.


	21. Food

**SerpentKing created FOOD**

**SerpentKing** : so im hungry

 **SerpentKing** : youll notice that cheyrl is not in the group chat

 **SerpentKing** : that’s because im with her and told her I wanted a new group chat and she threatened to throw her milkshake at me and then make me eat broken glass pieces

 **BetterKeller** : is this group chat about food

 **SerpentKing** : ……..yes

 **BetterKeller** : im leaving

**BetterKeller left the group chat**

**Sweets** : I love food

 **Fangs** : same

 **RonnieUpAbove** : but what’s your favourite food tho

 **SerpentKing** : I absolutely cannot choose

 **SerpentKing** : cheryl says curly fries

 **MurderingJughead** : id go for pancakes

 **Sweets** : chicken wings

 **Fangs** : im gonna go with pizza

 **Fangs** : or maybe waffles

 **Fangs** : but what about fried chicken

 **Fangs** : and I love strawberries

 **Fangs** : oh and cupcakes AND vanilla frosting

 **SerpentKing** : im literally in love with burgers

 **SerpentKing** : and chicken, in all its forms, is like magic

 **SerpentKing** : also, watermelon

 **MurderingJughead** : he doesn’t even love ME that much

 **ChaCha** : fried rice with shrimp is my bitch

 **RonnieUpAbove** : yas fried rice omg

 **RonnieUpAbove** : and chicken teriyaki

 **SerpentKing** : but what about burritos why aren’t we talking about burritos

 **Arch** : I like rice in every way like rice is amazing

 **Fangs** : yo did we forget about CHICKEN NUGGETS

 **Fangs** : how HOW DID WE FORGET ABOUT CHICKEN NUGGETS

 **SerpentKing** : we DID NOT forget about chicken nuggets

 **SerpentKing** : pizza tho

 **MurderingJughead** : this is getting really weird

 **SerpentKing** : cheryl just asked me if im looking at porn

 **SerpentKing** : she glared at me when I told her it was still about food

 **ChaCha** : which is weird, she loves food

 **Arch** : yeah, but maybe she’s normal

 **RonnieUpAbove** : is she tho?

 **Fangs** : I want chicken nuggets

 **SerpentKing** : come and get them

 **Sweets** : is beer food

 **SerpentKing** : NO.

 **SerpentKing** : STAHP

 **Sweets** : never

 **Sweets** : p.s isn’t it kevins birthday soon

 **SerpentKing** : CAN U STOP LOOKING FOR REASONS TO GET WASTED

 **Sweets** : its not like I can get drunk every day

 **MurderingJughead** : (kevin’s birthday is next week) let’s get drunk


	22. Real Talk

**MMMoose created REAL TALK**

**MMMoose** : k real talk

 **MMMoose** : r we drinking or r we drinking for kev’s birthday

 **Sweets** : I like u

 **MMMoose** : I know u do

 **MMMoose** : should we do like a surprise thing

 **MurderingJughead** : YES PLS YES

 **RonnieUpAbove** : YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS FINALLY

 **Arch** : where tho

 **CherylBombshell** : No.

 **Arch** : what

 **CherylBombshell** : You know what I am referring to.

 **ChaCha** : why bother

 **ChaCha** : its happening anyways

 **CherylBombshell** : I will not allow it.

 **MurderingJughead** : its not like youre the only one who happens to be emancipated and own a big ass house that she has for herself

 **CherylBombshell** : I have Nana Rose.

 **MurderingJughead** : SHE DOESN’T GIVE A DAMN

 **RonnieUpAbove** : I mean shes chill

 **Arch** : plus she’s half deaf and she slept through the last party we threw there

 **ChaCha** : let’s not forget that she never talks but, whenever she does, it’s to thank Cher because of how she turned her life upside down after she kicked out Penwhorelope

 **ChaCha** : she’s so grateful that she can now watch her programs on a big ass tv

 **Sweets** : yo that tv is as big as my whole trailer

 **ChaCha** : my sweet summer child

 **ChaCha** : have u seen CHERYL’S tv?

 **Sweets** : I feel like im missing out

 **MurderingJughead** : you’ve never seen cheryl’s tv????? THAT THING IS HUGE

 **RonnieUpAbove** : watching my guilty pleasure on that tv makes it even better

 **CherylBombshell** : Let’s go back to Sweet Pea needing alcohol to live.

 **Sweets** : fine by me

 **MMMoose** : same if it means talking about kev’s birthday

 **MMMoose** : so it’s on Friday

 **MMMoose** : im assuming well be getting thistlehouse

 **CherylBombshell** : I was about to yell at you, but I remembered that my children here will keep asking until I say yes. So, yes, you will be getting Thistlehouse.

 **MMMoose** : k I love u

 **CherylBombshell** : Please don’t say that ever again.

 **MMMoose** : no problem

 **MMMoose** : anyways

 **MMMoose** : alcohol, pizza and whatever else destiny might bring?

 **RonnieUpAbove** : yep

 **RonnieUpAbove** : im in

 **MurderingJughead** : ill bring jughead

 **SerpentKing** : ILL BRING MYSELF

 **ChaCha** : ill bring the beer

 **Sweets** : yo, we all know you’ve been living at thistlehouse

 **ChaCha** : so? Ill still bring the beer

 **Sweets** : you don’t bring stuff to your own house

 **ChaCha** : not my house

 **CherylBombshell** : Plus, when she says “I’ll bring the beer”, she actually means “Cheryl is paying for the beer”.

 **SerpentKing** : which is fine by me

 **RonnieUpAbove** : I’ll bring wine

 **Arch** : I’ll bring pizza

 **Fangs** : ill bring some other beer

 **Sweets** : same

 **CherylBombshell** : I will kill the first person who gets drunk.


	23. I'm Dying

**BetterKeller created im dying**

**BetterKeller** : im loving my life right now

 **CherylBombshell** : I’m glad at least one of us is.

 **BetterKeller** : you know I always love it when mckenzie comes to visit

 **CherylBombshell** : I’m glad at least one of us does.

 **BetterKeller** : I know shes weird and always tries to kiss u

 **BetterKeller** : but hse likes u u should know that

 **CherylBombshell** : She actually told me that she loves me tonight. Toni will be furious.

 **BetterKeller** : U GO MCKENZIE U DO U

 **CherylBombshell** : Please, do not encourage her, or she will try to kiss me again.

 **ChaCha** : yall talking about me

 **CherylBombshell** : Oh, hello darling. I thought you’d lost your phone.

 **ChaCha** : ah no it fell in the pool ,but I got it back

 **CherylBombshell** : You didn’t go in the pool, though, did you?

 **ChaCha** : na

 **ChaCha** : fangs got it for me

 **CherylBombshell** : Of course he did. Please, tell Fangs that he is not allowed in the pool whilst drunk.

 **ChaCha** : he said fuck u

 **ChaCha** : im not sure he understood who hes talking to

 **BetterKeller** : so im loving this

 **RonnieUpAbove** : am I wrong or cheryl said shed kill the first person who got drunk

 **RonnieUpAbove** : toni vomited her guts out like five hundre times

 **MurderingJughead** : what is going on I  am deadd help

 **MurderingJughead** : where am I anyways

 **RonnieUpAbove** : ur here

 **MurderingJughead** : oh hi v r u drunk

 **RonnieUpAbove** : nope

 **Arch** : yo watsups

 **CherylBombshell** : I am surrounded by idiots.

 **SerpentKing** : stop trying to be cheryl blossom

 **SerpentKing** : ur drunk too but u can still type

 **SerpentKing** : I think I cant see

 **CherylBombshell** : I am slightly drunk, Jughead. Nothing is ever going to make me type the way you do.

 **BetterKeller** : yo blossom here can hold her alcholoh

 **BetterKeller** : I saw her dirnking whiskey

 **BetterKeller** : she a bad bithc

 **ChaCha** : and I thought nobody was going to die tonight

 **CherylBombshell** : Oh, darling, don’t worry. I am a bad bitch.


End file.
